Just Don't Be a Sailor

"You can be whatever you want to be, my darling," I tell Rose. She gurgles back at me, wiggling her arms in delightful reply. "If you want to be a mechanic, that's cool. Or a writer or a magician. Just please don't join the military like your mom and dad."

She suddenly squints her eyes in a gaze far too serious for a little 7-week, excuse me, 8-week-old baby.

Rose continues to stare at me, unblinking. I give in. "Don't give me that look---okay, well if you wanted to join the Coast Guard I suppose that would be alright...just don't tell your papa."

**

For as long as I can remember I have been self-sufficient but taking that first step into "the real world" was absolutely terrifying. When I graduated early for high school I was jobless and unsure of how a lower middle-class girl like me was going to afford college. Not to mention how was I going to answer the age-old question that plagues every young adult: What Did I Want to Do With The Rest of My Life™. So I joined the Navy and never looked back.

It was the best thing for me. I got to travel a little, a steady paycheck and a means to pay for school, that is of course once I figured out just what it was I wanted to study. I wanted to be a veterinarian, a tattoo artist, an officer. I was all over the place. And that's the thing about being young, you are still trying to figure out the kind of person you want to be. Making a decision at seventeen for what you want to do with the rest of your life is not just ridiculous, it's impractical.

& really the facts speak for themselves with so many kids dropping out of college or switching their majors around, wasting their money or their parents' money. That's why I think taking a gapyear (or even two or three...) can be quite sensible. I remember when I explained just this to my highschool counselor and she stared at me, mortified. And when I told her I had joined the military, well, the woman nearly had a heartattack (I might as well have told her I had joined a biker gang).

I wonder, years from now, when Rose comes to me and we have a real discussion about her "future" what will she say? What will I say? I only hope I can be as confident with her decisions as I was with mine. I think we owe our children that, don't you think? Faith that when the day comes they will know what's best for them. Whether it be going to college straight from high school, or spending a year in Italy eating gelato.