Staying True

I came across this quote once before, long before I had any idea that I would be a mother. But it’s always stuck with me and now, with my daughter on her way it fits:

This is about my own someday daughter, when you approach me, already stung, stained with insecurity, begging, ‘Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?’ I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, “NO. The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be and no child of mine will be contained in five letters. You will be: Pretty intelligent. Pretty creative. Pretty amazing - but you will never be merely pretty.’”

It got me thinking about the kind of parent I want to be. Due to recent events in my life, I’ve had to lay to rest certain relationships that quite honestly, were no good for me or my family. What I didn’t expect was the ripple effect it caused; I was suddenly no longer welcome among a certain group of young ladies that I had long claimed as friends because of one single decision not to tolerate malicious deceit and hurtful gossip.

It’s been difficult to walk away with my head held high, to ignore the catty chatter going on behind my back. What do you do when the price for standing up for yourself is to stand alone? These last couple weeks I’ve been reflecting on whether I chose to do the right thing by saying enough is enough. And the answer I’ve finally arrived at is yes.

Because how can I teach my daughter to someday navigate this world of false friends and shallow personalities with dignity and self-respect if I myself cannot do so? That it is important to forgive, to not harbor hate in one’s heart, but neither must you subject yourself to ugly behavior.

And above all, stay true to what you believe in.