"How to Talk to Little Girls"

I remember when I first became pregnant & stumbled across this article. To summarize, the writer poses the idea that we are limiting the abilities of our daughters through seemingly harmless comments like: "you look cute in that dress!"

Over the months I have given this a lot of thought. No parent wants to think they are feeding the fire to insecurities their daughter might one day face in a society so hell-bent on the outward image.

But why can't I tell my daughter she's pretty? And smart? And such a sweet ray of sunshine?
The problem isn't in the compliments. It's in cultivating her sense of self. Letting her decide who she wants to be and supporting that. By doing so we are in turn helping her build the self confidence she needs to make it in this world.

What Bloom fails to see is that complimenting a little girl's looks does not, as she puts it, "result in 5-year-olds dieting" and "11-year-olds wearing mascara". The equation just isn't that simple; it's a multi-faceted problem. We blame societal and peer pressures and while those do sadly have an impact on our daughters, in the end their greatest teachers are going to be us, the mothers (or female mentors).

I'm not saying they won't have other influences but we are their first & primary example. So in order to raise happy, self-assured girls wouldn't it make sense that we look to ourselves to set the example? That's my hope at least. That my own little Rosemary can see from me that it's okay to rock a pretty dress & read a book. You don't have to choose to be either smart or pretty, instead be both and be awesome!