A Life Outside the Uniform

Me, taken shortly after bootcamp in the early summer of 2007. Lookit that short hair!

I joined the world's finest Navy just a few days after I turned 18 and a month later I was shipped off to bootcamp. It was a decision no one probably would have saw coming, not friends, family nor probably even me. Afterall my nickname in HS was "Hippie", I was the artist, the quiet bookworm. I had a lot of dreams about changing the world and back then, most would think I was motivated enough to actually do it.

What I didn't have was direction. And money. So when I graduated early from high school and wandered into a recruiting station one day, I found what seemed to be the perfect answer: enlist.

Four and half years later I'm standing at a crossroads again. With my six-year-contract almost up, now is the time for me to make some hard decisions. Do I neatly fold the uniform, place it on a closet shelf and don civilian clothes? Going out into the world and finally going to college is scary, uncertain. But also very exciting.

My other option is stay in, make a career of this. Go where the Navy tells me to go, do a job far below my capabilities. Fulfilling? Sometimes, but not often enough. On most days it feels like eating stale bread, nourishing but tasteless. There are some good parts that I do enjoy, the camaraderie, the reliable paycheck and the benefits.

But what kind of example would I be setting for my daughter if I just grew complacent with this existence? If I didn't try to build a better life for both of us? The Navy is a wonderful place but for a mother, I just can't willingly put myself in a position to deploy constantly. Not when Stephen will be spending the next few years deploying himself. It's not fair to our family when the benefits just aren't there.

Who knows what the future may bring. I will pray that in the coming months the answer becomes more clear but for now, I want to plan for a life outside the uniform.